Above, Kaitlyn Rietdyk as Ren, and Sonia Vaillant as Charlie.
Performed at George Luscombe Thetare, Snow-Week Festival, January 2009. Featuring Kate Abrams, Meaghan Burke, Lindsay Finnie, Kailey Gilchrist, Sonia Vaillant, and Kaitlyn Rietdyk.
Setting: In a female bathroom in the basement of a bar. There are four stalls, represented by four stools.
(REN and CHARLIE aren’t there to use the stalls, leaves. There is silence.)
Ren So?
Charlie So…
(REN pulls CHARLIE’s hair back from her neck. She gestures to enter stall together; CHARLIE starts, but doesn’t seem into it. REN turns away)
Ren You took me in here.
Charlie I wanted to talk.
Ren So talk.
Charlie Ok I’m going to talk, I just… I’m trying to figure it out first. … Okay. Listen.
My whole life - my whole sexual existence... God this is going to sound awful... I’ve been leading people on. It’s a habit I picked up and no one’s been able to slap it out of me. No matter woman, man… I just don’t see it. Well I do see it, but I don’t stop because I’m just too nice? Like, I don’t want them to get hurt? So I let it keep growing… until the affection is adoration or infatuation and so on. Um, by keeping the right distance, the person is so caught up in a friendly, loving idea of me, that I don’t have the heart to say “no”. I guess I can’t say “no”. I’ve been with so many people. So many people have been through me… I just don’t want to spoil their image of Charlie; I really want them to get that happiness they thought they wanted, but, I don’t want them. I just feel guilty, so I give them what they expect. It’s just a mere hour - 45 minutes of fun. I go home; they’re happy, I’m happy. I stay under the radar until it blows over, what they feel for me. (Silence is heavy) God. Sorry. Look, I’m sorry if that sounds, I dunno. But it’s who I am.
Ren Question.
Charlie Please.
Ren Aren’t you …
Charlie Breaking a lot of hearts?
Ren No, ashamed of being a soulless tramp--
Charlie Excuse me—what?
Ren You better be protecting yourself. Not only are you due for a psychological breakdown, but a venereal disease. How old are you?
Charlie 19.
Ren Uh huh, and you’ve slept with how many people? … No really, you can tell me.
Charlie 34.
Ren Hah! That’s almost twice your age. An accomplishment for—a barista at Starbucks, right?
Charlie Yes, that would be the issue.
Ren So you admit there’s a problem.
Charlie Well yes, I mean, I can’t go every day thinking ‘Charlie, you’re a Goddamn Whore’. ...Hah.
Ren Self-loathing really doesn’t suit you.
Charlie I’m not trying to be—
Ren Yes, you are. (Sees she’s being avoided) People are stronger than you think.
Charlie I thought you know, because you’re older…
Ren Because I’m older?
Charlie Well, because you’re older, you’d be looking for a serious relationship. And clearly, I’m not in for a serious relationship.
Ren Clearly.
Charlie Right, so… fuck. (she wants to leave) How about a drink?
Ren You know, Charlie, I did like you. I thought you were a great girl. A real spirit. Then I asked myself, what am I to you? Nothing really came to mind, so I moved on.
Charlie You moved on… so why are you still here?
Ren I see something in you, Charlie. You want to mould people into your romanticized idea of life. Romantic in the sense that there’s both this… idealized happiness—but also an inconstant state of tragedy.
Charlie Wow, that was really… poetic. Hurtful, true, but. poetic.
Ren You’re missing the point. You think in clichés, read horoscopes, searching out ‘beauty’ but not savouring it. You see the world through art, and a very narrowed view of it. And anything you don’t understand, you don’t like. You seek to change it, to your idea of perfection and ‘normal’. That’s why you’re okay with fucking and chucking so many people—because who cares what they feel after, right?
Charlie …
Ren When we met a few weeks ago, I liked you. Sure. But I really did ask myself—and don’t be flattered, I ask myself this of every girl I like: What am I to you? All I could come up with was that you thought I was some lonely, ugly dyke wanting someone, anyone to fill the void that is my life. Poor country girl with no straight friends, doomed to be gay and lonely.
Charlie (Moves towards Ren) I don’t think that you’re ugly… you’re really, cute.
Ren Don’t.
Charlie No, really. You’re beautiful.
Ren (Pushes her away) You’re pathetic.
Charlie Ren?
Ren Why, why should I Charlie? You’re a waste of time. Destructive. Ugly.
(CHARLIE is hurt. REN sees this and pushes the subject. Advances on CHARLIE, pushing her towards the counter)
Ren You’re fake.
Charlie Ren, Please.
Ren What you don’t like to hear the truth, slut?
Charlie I don’t deserve this.
Ren (Shift) Good, that’s good.
Charlie What?
Ren You’re fucking better than this. Walk away.
Charlie What are you… I thought... Why did you bring me here tonight?
Ren You tell me.
Charlie Why did you want to come if you didn’t like me?
Ren Why did you come if you didn’t like me?
Charlie I like you. I do. Well I don’t know right now, but I did.
Ren How Charlie.
Charlie I don’t know. I don’t know. You were sweet and kind, and maybe I thought you’d be an answer to what I’ve been looking for…
Ren Hah. User.
Charlie Yes, okay. Yes. I used you. I’m sorry. I use everybody I’m a shit-for-nothing piece of shit, I’m sorry I dragged you into this, sorry I thought I could trust you, I’m so fucking stupid, why the fuck—
Ren Because you know you’re beautiful, but you can’t see it. You’re better than this.
(REN slowly makes for the door)
Charlie Fuck. Wait. You can’t just—can I have a hug? Please?
(CHARLIE hugs REN, who doesn’t hug back)
Charlie I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.
Ren I need a drink.
(REN exits. CHARLIE is defeated; she decides she is going to get very fucking drunk.)
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